During that time, she was working after school and on weekends at a local coffee and bake shop. One of her coworkers was a guy she knew from her high school. He was a year older and her first impression of him was that he was a little bit scary. He had an angry energy about him. Big and tough, nothing to prove to anyone and Fuck You if you crossed him, was the impression she had. After working together for a little while, though, she discovered that he was actually pretty nice. He was helpful and kind and even a little bit funny. The more they talked and got to know each other, the more she realized that this guy had a crush on her. Someone had a crush on her!
What kind of parallel universe had she walked in to?! The only problem was that she knew she didn’t feel the same way (typical). Part of her wanted to like him like that, but a bigger part had let peer pressure dictate whether or not she would give him a chance. He wasn’t the most attractive guy. He was a bit sloppy looking, on the chubbier side, and was known in her high school as a bit of a dirt bag. Her relationship with him really only came to life when they were working. And then, she started getting invited to work parties. Occasions where people from her school weren’t around to criticize her for entertaining his flirtations. Add in her best frenemies Bacardi and Smirnoff, and she might have even married him if the idea had come up. They never had sex, but they definitely made out. More than once. Those parties are a very foggy memory at this point.
He eventually told her point blank that he liked her and wanted to date her. She tried as politely as she could to tell him she just didn’t see him that way but that she wanted to be friends. Her attention at that time clearly lay with guys who had no interest in her and who treated her like shit (i.e: Fancy Car Guy). He was likely pretty used to that answer, so they were able to continue on like nothing had happened.
And then, it was prom night. Even though he was a year older than her and had already graduated, he and his friend were still buddies with a lot of people in her grade. After their prom dinner, her graduating class celebrated at a nearby ski resort. It was June so obviously there was no snow. It was just a swanky chalet on the other side of the border where there were no chaperones and the legal drinking age was 18. She didn’t know he would be there. But once he saw her in her after-grad outfit, hair and makeup done, looking better than she usually did in her hair net and visor, he wouldn’t let her out of his sight. The night was a blast, and they all crammed into the school bus they had rented to shuttle all of them home. Her parents were gone away that weekend, so she had gotten permission to have her friends over for an after, after party. What should have been like 5 or 6 girls, ended up being at least 10 people or more, two of whom were her co worker and his friend.
The after, after party at her house was a drunken mess, to say the least. She and her co-worker somehow ended up together on her futon in her basement bedroom. They kissed and cuddled, and she definitely led him on. Intentionally or not, she did. She just reveled in the validation of knowing he wanted her. Later, as the sun began to rise, she ended up chatting with his friend in the front hallway. Leave it to her to never be able to resist a red head. Somehow, they ended up kissing. She was definitely more in to him. No contest. Then, before she knew it, both guys were engaged in a full-on fist fight right there in front of her eyes. Her co-worker had seen his friend kiss her, and without hesitating, dragged him outside to kick his ass. It was 5 o’clock in the morning and two guys were fighting over her in the street. She shouted for them to stop while one of her friends and a random girl from her school who had joined their after party, ate pepperettes and watched the drunken entertainment. Eventually the fight just ended and they both just walked home. He barely spoke to her after that and eventually moved out to the east coast for school.
Things with Fancy Car Guy were still going on through that drunken prom debacle. It wasn’t until midway through her first year of college that the showdown at the mall had occurred. Once all that was behind her, she wanted to branch out and meet people outside of her circle. One weekend in college, she was invited to a party with some people she only sort of knew. A few of the guys were pretty cute, but they were already dating girls in the group, and she was done being the other woman. Then she noticed a guy who she had seen around but had never talked to. He was tall, kind of awkward, and looking back now she realized he sort of looked like your big toe with curly-ish hair on top. They got along well and added each other to Facebook (which had just launched globally that year).
Another weekend a few weeks later, he invited her to a party with all the people she had just gotten to know and become friendly with. She accepted and met up with him at his buddy’s place after work. Everyone was just hanging out in the basement, drinking, shootin’ the shit. After an hour or so he decided that he needed to go back to his house to get more booze, and he asked her to come with him. Yes, she was drunk. But she genuinely, sincerely, 100% just thought that they were grabbing more booze and going back. She truly didn’t have a thought in her head that anything more might happen. They walked into his house and he directed her to his bedroom, which was on the main floor, as he searched for the bottle of vodka. She sat on his bed and waited. Soon, he came in, closing the door behind him. “Oh, holy shit,” she thought to herself. “We’re about to hook up!”
He stood in front of her, leaning down and hovering over her for a second, before he kissed her. She leaned back and he followed her as they made out intensely. Before she knew it, his pants were off, and his penis was out. “What the hell is that?” she thought. For a guy who was easily 6”, things down there were not at all proportional to someone of his stature. Also, why the hell was it crooked?? Then, before she knew it, she was having her head pushed down towards it. First time that had ever happened and she was definitely not a fan. Still, she knew the drill. She knew her worth and this was it. She gave him a BJ and he finished relatively quickly. No attempt to reciprocate, but what else was new with guys? It tripped her up though when he held her hand on their walk back to the party. The night wore on and is all a blur so many years later. After that experience, and knowing she didn’t remember a lot of it, she wanted so badly to make a change. She didn’t want to be the town slut getting passed around for blow jobs, which is definitely how she felt. She just wanted a mutually pleasurable experience with someone. A few moments that she naively thought might lead to something real. But it never did. She lived with the constant sadness of never feeling like she was worthy of that kind of love or attention…
Chapter 4 please! Don’t stop writing, as I cannot stop reading.
Intriguing! Keep going!