Before she knew it, the weekend of her friend’s wedding was upon her. Not only was she looking forward to standing for her best friend in what would undoubtedly be one of the best days of her friends’ life, she was also looking forward to seeing her other friends – most of whom she hadn’t seen in some time. One friend in particular, actually.
A few months earlier, she received the most unexpected Facebook message from the friend that had “broken up” with her a few years prior. Her friend asked if they could arrange a time to chat on the phone, which of course she was happy to do. Her friend told her that she had been through a lot over those three years that they hadn’t spoken. She experienced new things and found that she had grown in many ways. One of which was realizing that everything that had happened between the two of them wasn’t reason enough not to be friends. They had been through so much growing up together, no man should have ever been able to come in between them. She was over the moon excited to hear from her, and apologized for her side of their friendship downfall as well.
They talked on the phone for hours. They laughed, they cried – they basically picked up from exactly where they had left off. It was one of the most uplifting and reassuring moments of her life. It gave her so much hope for herself. That phone call would be one of the catalysts to eventually put herself first in her own life. So it was a really big moment to finally see her friend again after so many years apart. It was the cherry on top of what she already knew would be a fantastic weekend, and such a magical day for her friends who were getting married.
And it was. She had more fun that weekend, and on that day, than she had had in years. She was in the company of people in her life that lit her up. People that oozed positive energy. And love. And kindness. These people – these amazing women that she was privileged and blessed enough to know, were just the life preserver she needed to come up to the surface from the toxic relationship she was drowning in. She felt like herself again for the first time in a long time. As she watched her beautiful friend walk down the aisle to marry the man of her dreams, she felt even more sure she didn’t want to continue wasting her life with a guy she knew she shouldn’t be with.
At the wedding, she felt so certain of her feelings about her failing relationship that she drunkenly flirted with one of the groomsmen and hoped to at least get in a tipsy little make out sesh. Both fortunately and unfortunately, though, he had a girlfriend. She was disappointed yet relieved. She didn’t want to be that person. The person who cheats because they’re desperately unhappy yet too cowardly to end it first. It was at the forefront of her mind for the rest of the weekend, and as she drove home she told herself she was ready to end it. For real this time. “He is a good person underneath it all, but I just can’t do this anymore”, she said out loud to herself, alone in the car. As the scenery out her window blurred by, she blasted her Boss Bitches playlist on her rental car’s sweet high-tech stereo and belted out those power ballads as tears rolled down her face.
As she pulled into the driveway, she braced herself for the inevitable return-from-a-weekend-away-fight. She had no intention of ending things that night (why do that to herself after a long, exhaustive weekend like that?), but she knew that he would have missed her that weekend and thus, he would be angry that she had gone in the first place. Throughout their entire relationship, he had never had any problems making her feel guilty for going to see her friends and family. And yet, when she went upstairs, she was greeted with nothing but smiles and hugs from him. And of course licks and cuddles and barks of joy from her beautiful dog/child. She was confused but relieved, and also extremely surprised when he even showed a sincere interest in her weekend by asking how everything went, without a hint of disdain or spite. “Don’t tell me now he decides to actually change for real?!” she thought as she tossed her bags into the bedroom and got down to play with her dog-daughter.