During that holiday visit, one of the other ways her boyfriend tried to mend things between the two of them was to suggest that she meet up with friends and he would stay at her parent’s place while she was out. This was extremely uncharacteristic of his typical possessive, controlling, jealous behaviour. However, a girl’s night was exactly what she needed so she jumped at the opportunity to get away.
She arranged a dinner date with two of her best friends and didn’t even wait until they were seated before she told them she wanted to end things with her boyfriend. Saying her friends were skeptical would be the understatement of the century. They had heard it all before and had very little faith in her plan. She explained that she wanted to wait until January to end things. She also explained that legally she was required to give two months notice for leaving her apartment. That would bring her to the end of March. She planned to give notice to her landlord, give notice at work, but hoped to stay until then so she could pack up what she needed at her own pace, and would also allow her more time with her dog.
That was the other thing. The underlying reality of what leaving him really meant; she would likely have to leave her dog as well.
Her friends, while hopeful that this this was for real, were hesitant about the execution of her plan. They knew that if she stayed those extra two months that she would never leave. They told her that if she was going to do it, she had to just rip off the Band-Aid and do it.
Christmas holidays came to an end, the new year was upon them. “2020 is going to be the best year ever!” she thought to herself. Ah, how naive she was.
They were home two days before the anniversary of his dad’s passing. They barely talked about him on that day. She went back to work on the Monday and planned to end things that coming Friday. The entire week was a blur. She came home from work that Friday night, and he knew something was up. She had told him via text that day that she wanted to talk to him about something. He said that if it was something bad, he asked that she not bring it up that night. He wanted a nice, relaxing evening together. She wished she could do that, but the knot in he stomach was growing by the second. She had barely walked in the door before she found herself sitting on the couch, asking him to join her.
She began by telling him that she knew how hard he had been trying. She saw how great he was over Christmas holidays, and she hoped he would continue working on bettering himself. But, despite his efforts, she was ending it. Without really thinking, she said she would be staying until the end of January (not the end of March), but that she would pay for her half of rent and bills for the preceding two months. He panicked and expressed that he would be screwed and he wouldn’t have any money by April (He had been on unemployment since the Fall as his career was seasonal). She assured him she would pay her half for April as well, then. She would say whatever he needed to hear in order to make this all go smoothly.
Instead of losing his shit like he had done the last time she tried to end things, this time he cried and yelled and paced back and forth before grabbing his phone and locking himself in the spare bedroom. Through the door she could hear him saying, “She ended it. She broke up with me! What am I going to do?!” She knew he had called his sister and she was genuinely relieved. He always closed himself off from people so she was happy to see him reach out for help.
He talked to his sister for what seemed like hours on end, and when he came out, with tears streaming down his face, he said, “Well okay then. I understand and I’m so, so sorry.” She just burst in to tears. He wasn’t going to fight her. He wasn’t going to put her through anything else. He released his figurative grip on her and she could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. For whatever his sister said to him, she was eternally grateful. She expressed that she wanted to take the dog, naively hoping he would just say yes. “Over my fucking dead body,” was his reply.
They agreed, however, that if ever there was a time that he would be unable to care for the dog – be it long hours at work, a relocation for him somewhere obscure, whatever it may be – if he could not care for her, she would be the one he would call. This was a big step forward from the last time she tried to end things when he said, “I would rather put her down or re-home her than ever give her to you.” Aside from that dagger to the heart knowing she couldn’t take her baby with her, the two of them were able to actually sit and talk and cry and grieve and reminisce about the good times. The entire weekend was spent crying and talking. She gave her notice at work that Monday and thus, the countdown to freedom was on.