Two weeks went by and she hadn’t heard from Erik at all. She surprised herself by being genuinely okay about that. He had made it clear that he was fresh out of a relationship and that he worked a lot, so she knew going in to it that this was unlikely to go very far. She still hoped to hear from him sometime, but she wasn’t basing her entire dating life on that.
She continued about her regular day to day, and continued on the apps per yooj. It was early April when she matched with another good looking Ginger on Bumble. We’ll call him Luca. Luca was the punk rock version of Erik. He had a longer reddish/brown beard than Erik did, long red hair that he kept in a low man-bun beneath his backwards trucker cap. Covered in tattoos like Erik, so that was hot, but he also had gigantic, gauged ears which was typically not her cup of tea. They worked for him, though.
Similarly to Erik being in the military, Luca wasn’t generally someone she would go for. But he had a great smile and his profile made her laugh so she thought, what the hell. She sent him a message and waited to hear back.
Later that night, Luca replied to her. He was just as charming and funny in conversation as his profile had promised. It was a Wednesday night, and they chatted all evening long. Luca messaged her bright and early the next morning and they chatted all day while she was at work. Luca worked as a roofer, so the fact that he was taking time out of his much busier day than hers to message her, was a nice green flag.
They talked about meeting up sometime and, as it turned out, they happened to both be free that evening. It was rare to click with someone on a dating app so quickly, and then to meet them quickly as well rather than chatting for weeks and weeks and it going nowhere. She typically never went out during the week because she found it difficult to schedule things around her nannying side-gig some evenings. However, she was realizing that limiting herself like that had been making her dating life harder, so she agreed to meet up.
He invited her to meet him for a drink at one of her go-to date restaurants. The location he suggested was not one she had ever been to, but she knew the area and was fine to accommodate. Fortunately, it was a hair-wash day so she was able to go meet him right from work and not worry about looking like a can of smashed ass holes, as she often felt she did on non-hair wash days.
She arrived at the restaurant before him, and messaged him after she parked. She didn’t want to go in and wait alone, so she stayed in her car and waited for his response. It was then that she saw a giant white pick-up truck with a rusty white cab on the back rip in to the parking lot. She knew immediately that that was him. She kept checking if he would message her back once he parked, but as she saw Luca walk past her car she just got out to meet him instead.
She startled him by calling his name from behind, as he was already headed towards the restaurant. He back-tracked to come meet her, and they greeted each other with an awkward side-hug and goofy smiles. Despite his rough exterior, Luca was a gentleman at heart. He held the door for her, he followed her lead to where they would sit, and even pulled her chair out for her. Luca was quiet at first, but her disdain for awkward silences allowed her to blabber on and keep the conversation going.
The server came by and they ordered their drinks. Unlike Erik, Luca definitely drank. He seemed proud to proclaim that he sometimes drank a six-pack a night. Ugh, red flag. She understood too, though, that that was the culture of his career. Work all day in the hot, hot sun, get rewarded afterwards with a nice cold beer… or six.
She moved passed it. Once they both had had a few sips of their beers, Luca started to come out of his shell a little bit. They actually had a lot in common. They enjoyed a lot of the same types of music, same shows, and he was even a little interested in art, which was her passion. She showed him something art related on her Instagram, and they then both followed the other on IG rather than continuing chatting through Bumble later.
The server came by again and they ordered their meals. Luca got some kind of delicious chicken and sun dried tomato wrap with fries, and she ordered a chicken curry bowl thing that she had had at this restaurant dozens of times. Never once had she been disappointed. This time, however, since they were at a location she had never been to which clearly did things differently, her meal came out as basically curry noodle soup. Not at all what she was expecting.
She was never the type of person to send food back, but Luca encouraged her to do so since he could tell how disappointed she was. She sent it back and asked for rice instead of noodles, which is how she had typically had it before. It came back with rice, but with as much sauce as she had had with the noodles. So now it was just a bunch of half-cooked rice floating around in a pool of, now cold, coconut curry sauce. There was no way she was about to return it again, she was just going to suck it up and eat what she could.
Despite her efforts to hide her disappointment, Luca could tell that she was still not happy. It was then that he offered to share half his wrap with her. She declined, not wanting to commandeer his meal, but he insisted saying that he didn’t think he would have eaten the whole thing anyways. A bold faced lie, she knew, but she was genuinely so hungry and it was so kind and generous of him to offer. She reluctantly accepted, and Luca turned his plate towards her so she could grab the second half of his wrap. Big green flag.
It was nearly 9pm when their date came to its natural conclusion. They had met up at around 5pm, so that’s a pretty decent first date duration, she thought. He paid the bill, from which the server had kindly removed her meal, and walked her out to her car. They hugged goodbye, much less awkwardly than their hug at the beginning of the night, and he asked if her could take her out again sometime. She agreed and told him to text her, before getting in to her car and driving off.
She didn’t feel the same way she had felt after her date with Erik, but she thought that might be a good thing. Butterflies always seemed to get her in to trouble. Maybe it was a good thing that she wasn’t melting in to a puddle for Luca. She went to work the next day, and was happy to hear from Luca around lunch time. He asked her if she was free the following Saturday, which she was. He said he wanted to take her to some restaurant downtown he really liked. She had never heard of it but was down for whatever. She was just excited to actually have a second date planned.
Early the next week while she was at work, her phone lit up. She glanced at it quickly as she continued typing her e-mail, but stopped dead when she saw Erik’s name appear on her screen. She grabbed her phone and opened the message. First he apologized for having not been in touch. He explained that he had been away, came back that past weekend but had had a bunch of house stuff to do around his new place, and that he was headed out on another work trip that week.
She was shocked that he had the common courtesy to check in with her. At that point she had basically written him off. She told him she understood that he was busy, but emphasized that she was still interested in meeting up again when he had some time. He told her that he would definitely message her when he was back from this next trip. Again, this could have all been bullshit, but why message her at all then, if it was? The fact that Erik took the time to just catch her up on where he was at, and to assure her that he was still interested, was good enough for her. And in the meantime, she would just see how things played out with Luca.
Unfortunately, that Thursday evening, Luca messaged her saying he wasn’t able to meet up that Saturday, after all. He said his boss was sending him to a different job site about two hours west of the city. He emphasized that he really needed the extra pay and that he couldn’t turn this job down, but that he would make it up to her another time. She was obviously disappointed but what could she do? She told him it was fine and to message her whenever he was free next. He agreed, and apologized again. Womp womp, oh well, she thought.
That weekend came and went. The following week came and went. They were now in to May and she hadn’t heard from either Erik or Luca. She decided on that Friday (so now two weeks after she had heard from Erik), to send him a quick text and see if he was free sometime soon. No reply all day. It wasn’t until that Sunday that Erik responded saying, “Hey, sorry for the delayed reply. I’ve actually met someone so unfortunately I won’t be able to meet up again. All the best”.
She looked at that message in disbelief. What the fucking fuck!? Why string her along then? Why message her and assure her he’d be in touch to get together again? She had already written him off. She was fine! She had accepted that he was busy and that she likely wouldn’t hear from him again. Then he messages her to what, just keep her on the hook? And then not even text her to say he’s not available anymore? Where is the logic there?? He could have just never messaged her again after their first date and she would have been perfectly fine. If he had the “decency” to message her to explain his absence, he should have had the decency to message her and say he had met someone. Or even just say he’s too busy to date. Whatever! Instead he gets her hopes up again and then just leaves her to wonder? Fuck that. Ugh! She was more angry than she was disappointed.
She vented her frustrations to her friends in the group chat but chose not to dwell on it much longer than that. She decided it was more on her for actually expecting something to work out with him. She should have known better that every guy sucked, regardless of how great they seemed. This point was drilled in to her head even more firmly the next day when she went to look at Luca’s Instagram, to then find out he had both unfollowed her, and removed her as a follower. What the fuuuccckkkkkk??
First Erik, then Luca. She couldn’t decide which was worse. Erik bailing on her but only after she messaged him, or Luca just flat out ghosting her after also having said he’d want to reschedule?
Man these guys were such fucking pussies! Except no, pussies are strong and reliable. These guys were just a bunch of saggy ball sacks. Too weak to follow through on even a mild commitment, or to be honest and just say, “I’m actually not able to get together again. Sorry, good luck to you”. Erik only did it after she messaged him first, and Luca didn’t even do it at all!
She was angry. She was hurt. She was disappointed. And yet, not at all surprised. Then, as if by magic or by some kind of intense sexual radar, from out of nowhere, who did she come across on Bumble? Kyle. He had never been on the dating apps when she had first met him, but now he was everywhere. She matched with him and sent him a message.
How was it that the 20something DJ with commitment issues whom she had been hooking up on and off with for over a year now, was the most reliable guy she had in her life? Now that they had reconnected (on both Facebook Dating and now Bumble), and he had apologized for his shitty behaviour the summer before, Kyle was the only one she knew she could rely on for being completely honest with her, and who was always true to his word when they would make plans.
He responded to her almost immediately and asked her when she was free over the next week. She told him that coming Wednesday or Friday was open for her, so they agreed to meet Wednesday night for what she knew would be another amazing sexual rendezvous. Was it the second date(s) she had been hoping for? No. But a hot guy getting her off was better than continuing to stew in the overwhelming feeling of rejection which she had been in…
Continue to Chapter Eighty Three