Another thing she had been looking forward to, now that she was single, was that she wanted to go see a Medium or a Psychic. For years and years she had always wanted to try it, but had never gotten the opportunity. She knew it couldn’t all be real, but she was definitely someone with an open mind to things of that nature.
Her ex thought it was the dumbest thing on the planet. “It’s a waste of money!” “It’s all a hoax!” “They spy on you first, check your Facebook and all your online information before you go! It’s fixed!” Those were just a few of his arguments against it. You can imagine her excitement, then, when a new acquaintance of hers whom she had met through friends, invited her and her friends to what she called a Psychic All Chakras Open Yoga Workshop.
This workshop involved an intense yoga session that is supposed to ground you. Then, you experience extreme, powerful energy coursing through your body. It brings you a sense of enlightenment, even. After the yoga session, the instructor reads your tarot cards and gives you a glimpse into parts of your life that you may be neglecting, or are unaware of. She was beyond excited to try this.
She arrived at this home studio and entered the main living area. The entire space had been painted black. Candles were lit all around the room, salt rock lamps scattered throughout. She felt calm and at peace immediately. Once they began, she committed to the yoga positions, despite how difficult they were. The intense pain she experienced in certain positions only made the pay off that much better as she felt her body lift and lighten and tingle. It was truly an eye-opening, full body experience.
Afterwards, the instructor went around the room and did whispered tarot readings to all the participants, arriving on her last. He shuffled his deck of cards and lay five cards out in front of her. He glanced at them and sighed. “Oh wow…” he whispered.
He knew immediately that she had recently ended a bad relationship. He glanced at the cards again and said, “It’s not over between you two.” To which she was extremely taken aback by. She explained that she hadn’t talked to him since March. He had randomly texted her asking if she still planned on paying for half of the shit box car he bought them without her knowledge, like she had said she would. After crafting a long, elaborate, well thought out text expressing that she definitely would not be sending him any more money, she deleted her paragraph and simply sent, “No.” She knew that engaging with him like that would just invite more anxiety and trauma from him and she truly wanted nothing to do with him ever again. Even so, the instructor explained that the cards were telling him that he was still punishing her – that she’s here, waiting for something from him. It was then that she realized he was talking about her dog.
She thought she had come to terms with her new reality. That a life without him meant a life without her dog, as well. And yet, she still thought about her dog every day. She still cried when she saw border collie’s on tv commercials, or even when she would see her friends with their own dogs. As much as she logically knew that she would never have her back, she still held out some kind of hope that against all odds, one day she would be reunited with her dog-daughter. The instructor told her flat out, “You need to move on. She’s not coming back to you. You’re punishing yourself for nothing.” She started crying because she knew he was right.
He continued reading the other cards. One of them was an image of a man and a woman on a park bench, and the woman was full on grabbing the guy’s crotch. These were extremely sexually graphic tarot cards, by the way. The card that meant “relationship”, was a rear image of a woman in a school girl outfit with her ass showing. The punishment card was a woman wrapped head to toe in latex. It’s easy to see how some people would think this was bullshit.
The crotch grabbing card meant Play. She laughed when he told her that. There had been no play. There had been lots of urges and efforts for play, but no actual play had occurred. He also said that there was one guy in particular in her life that she was focused on. To her knowledge, there definitely wasn’t. But maybe that was about to change?
She left that psychic yoga session feeling at ease. Whether it’s real or not, what he told her was true. And if some stranger can see that pain and longing for her dog inside of her, she knew that she was wearing it on her sleeve. It was obvious that she was still heartbroken over it. To truly be free of the burdens of her toxic relationship, even seven months after leaving, she would have to fully accept that her dog was no longer her dog. She had to move on – something she already knew but had just been reinforced to her so clearly. She took a deep breath, and exhaled. She felt lighter and full of hope.