She had been able to distract herself from thinking about Kyle throughout the weekend, and was excited that her birthday week had finally arrived.
She and her best friend share a birthday. Every year since their 20th, they had celebrated together, along with another one of their best friends whose birthday is three days earlier. When she had moved away with her ex, she had to endure several years of FOMO as she watched her friends celebrate without her. So now that she had moved back home, she was beyond excited to be able to celebrate with her Birthday Twin again.
As she and her friend were finalizing their plans, she casually mentioned how great it would be if Kyle came. Especially because the friends who had originally introduced them would be at the party, so he would know people and it wouldn’t be awkward for him. She had been debating with herself about whether or not to invite him, and was especially skeptical after having seen that pic of him and his lady friend. But even so, she really wanted to end her birthday with a BANG… wink wink 😉
“That’s a great idea! He could come DJ for us!!” her friend suggested. She froze. As much as she loved that idea, she worried that if Kyle came to DJ, he would be there for the entire event. She had had it in her mind that she would invite him to come a little later on. The party would be starting at 5pm for a BBQ, and would be extending into the later evening. This would be the first big social event post lockdown, and she didn’t want to be worrying about some guy when she could be catching up with her friends whom she hadn’t seen for some time.
The more she thought about it, though, the more she realized that she really did want him to be there, but she was nervous about texting him. She wasn’t sure if this was too “relationship-y”, or if this was a perfect FWB opportunity. The Monday before her birthday, she got up the nerve to message him, and was overjoyed when he enthusiastically accepted her invitation.
The day of her birthday, she headed right over to her Birthday Twin’s house after work, where the party was taking place. A few people were there early and they all helped decorate. Other friends started arriving and soon the party was in full swing. Kyle had yet to text her, so she texted him and pretended she “forgot” to give him a time. Fortunately, he wouldn’t be able to make it there until closer to 8pm. PHEW! She had time to get some drinks in her and build up her liquid courage. Not only was she not actually dating this guy so it would be hard to explain to people why they’d be all over each other, but also some of her friends had read the blog post about him so they knew aalll the dirty details. It made her blush to think about everyone meeting him.
She told Kyle to text her when he arrived and she would come out front to meet him. It was a good thing she did because when he got there, they shared a spectacular greeting kiss that made all her worries fade away.
She brought him around back and the other birthday girl greeted him excitedly, asking where he wanted to set up his DJ stuff. Other people came over to greet him, and she suddenly felt herself needing to retreat to the bathroom. She just got the urgent feeling that she couldn’t be there for the introductions. She felt overwhelmed and didn’t know how to explain things to people who hadn’t read the blog or didn’t know about their situation. Another friend found her in the bathroom and talked her down off the figurative ledge.
Once Kyle was all set up and people had dispersed, she felt more comfortable coming back out to socialize again. When she did, Kyle saw her, wrapped his arm around her waist, and pulled her in to stand beside him at his “DJ booth”… which was just a folding table up on the deck. He showed her how to change songs and transition from this to that. Nothing sunk in, of course, but she felt special getting a crash course. They danced, they drank, they kissed. She missed the feeling of being “coupled up”, and made sure to soak up every second of it.
The sun had long been set, and people had slowly taken their leave. Eventually the party had dwindled down to six; she and Kyle, her Birthday Twin and her husband, and another friend and her fiancé. They moved the party inside and just kept on raging. She and Kyle had barely left each other’s side the entire night. As the birds began to sing in the early morning, they headed downstairs to the guest room while the other couples stayed up a bit longer.
For the first time in years, she ended her birthday exactly how she wanted to – with super hot birthday sex. All those birthdays she had celebrated with her ex, not once did she enjoy herself like she did that night. Inviting Kyle was the best idea she ever had. Her heart had been so full all afternoon and evening. She was overjoyed to be able to see her friends again and feel like things were getting back to normal. But Kyle was the cherry on top. It was the perfect end to the perfect birthday. And not once did she think about his girlfriend-not-girlfriend situation.
Canada Day was the next day, and the plan was to go party at a local beach. Kyle had left early in the morning as he had some things to attend to. However, he was going to the same Canada Day event as it was being hosted by their mutual friend. He kissed her goodbye and told her he’d see her later. Obviously they were hung over as fuck, so she, her friend and her friend’s husband didn’t make it there until 4pm. When they arrived at the beach, Kyle had already been and gone. He was DJing at another beach party and would be returning later.
She had a hard time getting back in to party mode. Everyone else there were in their 20’s. She and her friends were among some of the older party-goers. Two days of drinking in a row was definitely not the norm for her anymore. But eventually she got there. She had wandered off and was chatting with a lovely young woman who had drunkenly confided in her about her relationship struggles. She felt like it was divine intervention that she had met this girl, and was happy to offer advice and share her own experiences.
As they chatted, she saw Kyle approaching. He had just gotten back to the beach and had searched her out before greeting any of his other friends. Her heart exploded with butterflies. It really didn’t take much to make her feel special. He kissed her hello and he greeted the girl she had been talking to. Of course he knew her. He knew everyone.
He soon went off to chat with other people, and they didn’t really interact much throughout the remainder of the evening. As things were winding down, she went to find him and asked what his plans were for the rest of the night. To her dismay, he wasn’t able to come back to her friends’ place for another sleepover. He needed to go home to actually sleep as he had plans to go to some big rave in the woods the next day. Definitely not her scene. So they kissed goodbye and parted ways.
The next day she slept all day. She had foolishly made plans with another friend to celebrate yet another birthday that weekend, so she needed to get some rest before another night of partying. (Who the hell did she think she was planning a week long party experience like that?? Not only was she not in her 20’s anymore, but after being stuck in lockdown for so long, how the hell did she think she could handle all this?! Spoiler alert, she was in bed by 10:30pm after partying for her other friend’s bday.)
That first weekend of July came and went. She and Kyle had kept in contact by sending funny memes here and there, but they hadn’t had a real conversation since Canada Day. She wanted so badly to message him, hoping to arrange another rendezvous, but she didn’t want to come off as clingy. She was trying to remain cool and casual… except she was pretty sure he was aware of how uncool she was, but knew he liked her anyways.
The day she decided she would send him a message, was the day he posted another story of him and his “primary”. She realized, then, why she hadn’t heard from him in a while and was relieved she hadn’t texted him. She then decided not to message him at all. She knew he would text her eventually. Maybe she’d be free. Maybe she wouldn’t be. She was noticing the same patterns in herself that she would repeat with every other guy she had a crush on. She didn’t want to be that girl with Kyle. Especially because they had laid out the stipulations to their “relationship” pretty clearly.
She knew she couldn’t wait around for him. And yet, now every guy she chatted with seemed to wane in comparison. However, over the previous week, Tom had begun messaging her again. He had wished her Happy Birthday and they had chatted a few times here and there. Maybe she could re-focus her attention on him as a distraction from Kyle!? What she really needed to do was get the fuck off the dating apps in general and just focus on herself again…
Pfft! Fat chance!