A few days after returning home from her vacation, she matched with a super hot Italian guy on Tinder. Not Italian from Italy. He was definitely Canadian, but with all those sexy, dark, Italian features. They chatted about work, their interests, what they were each looking for in regards to online dating. She made it clear that she was not looking for just a hookup. She was sick of meeting up with guys, having sex, and then never hearing from them again.
She told this hot Italian guy – let’s call him… Mario (haha) – that she was looking for a Friend with Benefits, but big emphasis on the Friend part. She explained that she wanted someone she could have fun with. With whom she could go on dates, go out for dinner, go to a movie, see a comedy show, whatever! But without getting too serious.
Serious, to her, meant meeting friends and family. She was no where near ready to fall down that rabbit hole of questions and advice and all the other bullshit that comes from integrating a new boyfriend into one’s life. Mario seemed to be totally on board with that. He, too, said he wanted to meet someone to have fun with, but wasn’t necessarily looking for something super serious either. (A guy on a dating app only looking for fun?? Shocking!) It seemed like they were on the same page, so they arranged to meet up that coming weekend.
Their tentative plans were set for Friday, but she had to cancel as she had forgotten she already had a prior commitment. They rescheduled for Saturday.
Saturday morning came and Mario texted her saying his family engagement was going to run longer than he had expected, and was hoping she was free the Sunday instead. Rescheduling dates this much is usually a red flag, but she still agreed to meet on the Sunday instead.
Sunday morning, she texted him to confirm their plans and he assured her that he was down to meet up that day. He asked where she wanted to go grab a drink, but reiterated that he was happy to host her at his place with some weed and wine. As enticing as that was, she knew if she just went to his place that they would end up having sex. She was determined to wait, at least until the second date, before getting intimate with another guy.
“Let’s see how drinks go first…” she replied. He laughed and suggested a great bar downtown, which just so happened to be a stone’s throw away from his apartment. She agreed to meet outside of his place so she would have somewhere easy to park, and they’d walk to the bar from there.
She jumped in the shower and as she washed her body, she made the conscious decision not to shave anything. (Built in birth control, right ladies?? ) This would ensure that no matter what, she would not be taking her clothes off with this fella. She finished getting ready and told her parents she was meeting a friend downtown for lunch.
She punched in his address and headed out. When she arrived, she was confused because the building she had stopped at was the apartment building in which one of her friends used to live. She texted him to ensure she was in the right place, which she was, and he replied that he would be right down.
When he came out the front doors, her stomach tied in it’s signature knots. The feeling she got whenever she was overwhelmed by someone’s attractiveness, combined with immense nervousness about making a good impression. He greeted her, complimented her, and they headed over to the bar. They were immediately seated on the patio and they both ordered a beer. The conversation flowed like water. No awkward silences, no forced chit chat. They were both genuinely interested in what the other had to say.
They laughed, they exchanged stories, and he surprised her not only by not teasing her when she mentioned that she was an emotional Cancer – he even knew what his own zodiac sign was (Gemini), as well as his Moon and his Rising (which were both Cancer. Bonus!!) She couldn’t believe how well this date was going. They decided to order nachos to share, as well as another beer each.
They had to have been there for over two hours. It was one of the most enjoyable afternoon’s she had ever spent with a stranger. They finished their second beers and he asked if she wanted to go over to his place to smoke a joint. She hesitated, but he really did seem like he was on the same page as she was. She figured one joint wouldn’t be so bad, especially if it meant this date didn’t have to end. She was genuinely enjoying his company.
They walked the five minutes back to his place, and as they got in the elevator and he hit 12, she was overwhelmed with an uncanny sense of déja vu. It was several years ago, but she was certain that her friend had also lived on the top floor.
They got off the elevator and turned left. The déja vu feeling became even more intense. “That’s not your place, is it?” she asked as she pointed to the upcoming door to her right. The exact unit she remembered to be her friend’s old apartment. “Yeah it is, how did you know??” he asked.
He unlocked the door and she basically walked back in time. It was completely mind boggling to her that this guy lived in her friend’s old apartment! She told Mario about the coincidence, by which he was also blown away, but she texted her friend just to be sure. Turns out her friend had lived in that exact unit, but one floor down. So it wasn’t exactly the same apartment, but still close enough to warrant her bewilderment. Just another example how small town that big city was.
He gave her a little tour of his place, which she really didn’t need since it was a replica of her friend’s old place, before bringing her out to the balcony. He had an absolutely breathtaking view of the city. As she gazed out over the many buildings, he turned her attention to the right to show her his incredibly gorgeous pot plant. It was big and bushy, and almost ready for harvesting. This guy just kept getting better and better!
They came back inside and he offered her a glass of wine. Since she had already had two beers at the bar and she still had to drive home later, she asked for a glass of water instead. He went in to the kitchen and she followed slowly behind him, looking at all the war memorabilia he had displayed on his walls. He handed her the water and darted quickly into the living room.
Before she even had a chance to take a sip, he was back in the kitchen, inching closer to her, giving her major make-out vibes. She looked up at him and unconsciously bit her lip. This was the only invitation he needed to fully come in for a kiss.
It was a great kiss. Strong and forceful, yet soft and tender. He started running his hands down her back, onto her ass. Shit., she thought. But that wasn’t enough for her to make him stop. She was in to it, so apparently over the clothes was allowed.
The kissing became more intense and he started running his hands over other parts of her body. She could feel the butterflies building. She could feel her knees weaken. She knew what he wanted. And she knew she wanted it too. But no! She had promised herself she wouldn’t.
She tore her lips from his and asked him in a sexy whisper if he wanted to smoke that joint. He smirked and looked down at her. “Are you sure you really want to smoke now?” he asked as he kissed her again. Before she knew it, he was pulling her towards the bedroom.
Yes, she could have stopped it. Yes, she could have said no. But aside from this stupid friggin promise she had made to herself, there was also a part of her that really, really wanted to! She enjoyed sex. She had resented sex for so long when she was with her ex, so when the opportunity presented itself, it was hard for her to resist.
He guided her backwards onto the bed, and they continued to make out for several minutes. But sure enough, the clothes started coming off. Alarms went off in her head about her hairy legs and bushy bush. “I forgot to shave!” she blurted out. He paused and looked down at her from where he was kneeling between her legs. He smirked and said, “It’s all good. I like a little hair…” That was all she needed to hear to allow herself to fully surrender. After some fairly decent foreplay, they started having sex.
It was good. It wasn’t first-time-with-Kyle-good, but it was good. He kept telling her how hot she was, how amazing she felt, how much he liked whatever it was she was doing. She felt sexy and confident and was able to really enjoy herself.
Once they finished, he lay on his back, his arm stretched out for her to come nuzzle in to his nook. They lay there together just basking in that post coital haze. They talked about getting together again, and how they felt that they were each happy to be on the same page as one another.
After a few minutes, though, Mario got up to go to the washroom. As he walked out of the bedroom he said, “Oh wow. I didn’t realize the time. I’m meeting a friend to watch the UFC fight soon…”
She bolted upright and immediately got herself dressed. A flood of rage consumed every molecule in her being. “How soon?” she hollered to him. He came out of the bathroom and casually replied, “Oh, about half an hour – 40 minutes?” Basically telling her that it was time for her to leave.
She couldn’t fucking believe it. And yet, she wasn’t surprised. This was exactly what she had been trying to avoid by making a pact with herself not to have sex. She maintained her composure and told him that she had to fix herself up again before she left. Fortunately, she had put her travel sized hair straightener in her purse a few days prior, so she was able to fix her sex hair before going home to her parents.
As she got ready in the bathroom, he stood behind her in the doorway and they went right back to the comfortable, casual conversation they had had at the bar. She was annoyed at how much she still liked him, despite this predictable “wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am” situation. She took her sweet ass time fixing herself up. When she was ready and had gathered her things, he kissed her deeply at the front door and told her he’d text her that week to arrange another date. She smiled at him as she left, swallowing her rage as he closed the door behind her.
She got in the elevator, and in her mind, she was went completely ape shit. You know in movies when you see a character completely lose their shit? Throwing chairs, smashing mirrors, breaking anything and everything in sight? And then the scene changes and you realize that was all just in the characters head? That’s exactly what was going on with her. The elevator doors dinged open and she snapped back to reality, nodding politely at the older lady who was boarding the elevator as she got off.
She got in her car and began to drive home. She was almost in a state of shock. Within only a few minutes, the amazing, casual, fun afternoon she had just had with this seemingly awesome guy, had been shattered. She was once again faced with the reality that once a guy gets the sex he wants, good luck ever hearing from him again.
She tried to hold out hope that this guy was different. He had said he would text her to arrange another date. Maybe he would actually follow through?
Monday came. Then Tuesday. And by Wednesday when she still hadn’t heard from him, she made the leap of texting him herself. She told him the days she was free that week and wondered if he still wanted to get together. He replied that his week was pretty hectic but he’d be down to hang out the following week instead.
Of course, she thought. She knew that would be it for him. She wasn’t about to hold out hope that he would message her, but found it ironic that he would still creep her InstaStories as the days went by.
Two weeks passed since that conversation and, sure enough, he never texted her. One Thursday afternoon, she had been planning her weekend and knew that she would be downtown with some friends the next evening. She thought it might be nice to meet up with someone afterwards for a little x-rated fun. She messaged a couple guys she had on her roster, one of whom was Mario.
He replied fairly quickly and seemed interested in meeting up. He was also going out with friends that night so they agreed to text each other when either of them knew their final plan for the evening. She knew her night would be done sooner than his would be. She messaged him around 10pm letting him know. Unsurprisingly, he was still out and wouldn’t be available to meet up any time soon. And that was it. She was officially done with this guy.
A couple days after her original hook up with Mario, she had matched with a hot 41 year old guy named Wyatt. Maybe he would be the one to turn her dating life around?
… or maybe not.