Many months before she had ever matched with Jack (maybe over a year, even), she had matched with another guy on Tinder. We’ll call this guy… Youssef. Youssef was from Jordan but had moved to Canada when he was young. She never got the full story, but his family still lived in Jordan and it was just him living here. He was polite and charming and smooth. He made her feel beautiful. He also had a naughty side and knew how to make her feel sexy and desired. They had chatted for months and months and had never met. First it was lockdown(s), then it was his work and him moving to a new apartment, then the freedumb convoy extended the most recent lockdown and they had just never been able to schedule a date.
Finally, once things had calmed down around town, Youssef asked if she wanted to come over to hang out; “Netflix and chill”, as the kids say. Normally she preferred to meet guys in public, but she and Youssef had been chatting for so long, she already felt comfortable with him, so she accepted his invitation.
She was honestly really looking forward to finally hooking up with him. The tease of their sexy conversations had gone on for far too long, and she was eager to experience some real pleasure, especially after her disappointingly quick encounter with Jack. Yousef sent her his address and she headed over. After she parked and was walking up to his building, she realized that she had been there before in her younger, party girl days. It was an unexpected déja vu to have before going to meet a stranger for a hook up.
She called up to his apartment and he buzzed her in. She barely had a chance to knock on the door before Youssef swung it open and hurried her inside. He was so excited to see her, she could barely get her jacket off quickly enough. Once she did, he threw it on the ground and pulled her in close. “Hi…” he whispered with a smile as she looked up at him from within his tightly wrapped arms. He kissed her and she basically just melted in to a puddle of goo. Butterflies engulfed her entire body and she was instantly ready to climb him like a tree.
He brought her in to the living room where he laid her down on the couch. They started tearing off each other’s clothes, and he climbed on top of her as they made out intensely. His couch was a little bit narrow, though. Kind of a modern design. Not really conducive to an intimate hook up, so she suggested they move it to the bedroom.
They couldn’t keep their hands off each other as they changed locations. She was already down to her underwear, and she could feel him gazing at her basically naked body. Normally she would have felt incredibly insecure. And while, yes, she felt vulnerable, the look in his eyes was one of awe and excitement. She could tell he liked what he saw and she felt powerful and confident and sexy. Not feelings she was used to feeling during a sober hook up.
They laid down beside each other, and while she tried to continue touching him, he stopped her and made it all about her for the moment. He used his big, strong, sexy hands to warm her up and make her feel amazing. It had been quite a while since a guy had been able to get her off. And so many times in a row… She was impressed. She tried to reciprocate but he told her he didn’t want her to. He was getting off by how much he was getting her off. She asked him if he wanted to have sex, but he didn’t have a condom, so she accepted that it would just be him and his hands getting things done. As she finished one final time, he did too. Right on her ribs as he laid beside her.
They both collapsed together in joint pleasure. He wrapped his arms around her and they cuddled together in post coital bliss. After they both caught their breath, he hustled into the bathroom and grabbed a wet cloth to clean her up. Such a gentleman. In her experience of past hook ups, she was expecting to be ushered out shortly after they completed their tryst. But Youssef was sweet and was in no way ready for their afternoon to end. He invited her back out to the living room to watch some Netflix and order some food.
Now that they had addressed the sexual tension that had grown so strongly between them over months and months of texting, they were able to relax and just chat and hang out. They were extremely comfortable with each other, and Youssef was quite open, actually – about his ex-girlfriend, and not being completely over her. He was honest about his downfalls in that relationship, and how he knows, now, what he did wrong. But was also open about some toxic behaviours that his ex demonstrated, which he had let slide in the moment, but saw now how he didn’t deserve to be treated that way.
His breakup was pretty fresh, which she didn’t realize when she had accepted his invite. She also realized why they hadn’t met until that day; he had been going through this breakup when they first connected. She was happy he felt so comfortable talking to her about his feelings, she just hadn’t expected to be imparting her own breakup survival wisdom on this new sexual partner.
Youssef was not what she was expecting, especially in the sense that he was just so open about his feelings, even admitting that he was somewhat in to astrology. Guys are never in to astrology! Most guys would tease her when she brought it up, but Youssef knew his sun, moon and rising signs, as well as his ex’s. He noted some differences between their signs, as well as behaviours he recognized as incompatible.
While she was giving him advice based on her own breakup experience, he noted, “I think it was fate that we met. Even if nothing comes of this, you’re just a really kind, caring, loving person, and I appreciate your thoughts and advice”. She was completely taken aback, but appreciated the appreciation.
She knew that she didn’t want to date Youssef. Just based on their conversation, she recognized that he had a lot of healing to do before he would be fully ready to immerse himself in another relationship. But she agreed with him. She felt like she was meant to meet him and to impart her wisdom. He confided in her that he had a lot of anxiety, but that her point of view on life, dating and breakups had really calmed his soul.
They chatted, and ate pizza, and half watched a stand-up comedy special on Netflix (which now seemed to be her go-to thing on dates?). Once it ended, they both agreed it was a good time to end the evening. He walked her to the door and hugged her tight before she left. Though she knew that would likely be the only time they’d hook up, she left feeling relaxed from fooling around, but content in her heart after making a new friend.
She went home and enjoyed the rest of her night. She went to sleep at a reasonable hour, but was tossing and turning around midnight. It was then that she happened to glance over at her phone, and saw it light up. She picked it up and saw message after message coming in from Youssef.
“I’m sorry to bother you!” “I know it’s late” “But is there any chance you could be pregnant after today?” “I know we didn’t have sex but like, when was the date of your last period?” “Do you think some pre-cum could have gotten inside?” “Please. I’m having a panic attack. My family is so religious. They would disown me if I got someone pregnant…”
She hadn’t intended on replying at first, but it was obvious he was having a friggin mental breakdown. She was extremely confused though because, this was a 31-year-old man who was not a virgin. Had been in a sexual relationship for 5 years with his ex. The basics of sex should have been pretty clear to him, no? How on earth could he think she could be pregnant when he finished on her ribs?? On her RIBS! No where near the danger zone.
She sat up and texted him, reassuring him that there was absolutely no way she could be pregnant. Not only did they not have sex, but even if they had, she has PCOS and doesn’t ovulate. So even if they HAD had sex without a condom, on the perfect day of the month, the day that she would ever be closest to ever being able to get pregnant, even then, she still likely wouldn’t be. And again, she reminded him, HE CAME ON HER RIBS!
Youssef seemed to calm down, and repeatedly apologized for bothering her so late. He thanked her profusely for her kindness and patience at 12:30am on Sunday night. She wouldn’t have been able to sleep had she ignored him, so she told him it was fine and that they could chat again another time.
The next day on her lunch break at work, she messaged Youssef to see if he was okay. He apologized again for freaking out like that. He knew that logically, there would be no way that she could have been pregnant. Anxiety is real bitch, though. She understood. And she was glad he seemed to be doing better. Still, though, that just confirmed that there was absolutely no way anything else could ever happen with this guy.
She had worked hard on her own healing and knew that she couldn’t have done it if she had gotten mixed up with someone else during that time. It was better for him to be alone and to work on himself. She stopped texting him, and he eventually stopped texting her. She knew that if either of them ever did message the other again, neither would ghost the other. But it was just better that they end things there. Meeting Youssef made her even feel even more grateful for how far she’d come in her own journey. She remembered all those feelings that Youssef was demonstrating, and she was proud of herself for having come out of it the way she had.