Her encounters with Jack and Yousseff were early in the year. She had decided, as she had many times before, that she would be taking a break from dating. And by dating, she meant hooking up. Several months went by and she hadn’t met up with anyone. She was actually a little bit proud of herself. More surprised, maybe. It just hadn’t been worth it to her anymore. That is until, her parents went away on vacation.
Like a vast majority of people on these dating apps, she lived with her parents. And if she lived with her parents, and all these guys lived with their parents… there’s not a whole lot of places to get frisky. So when her parents went away for ten days in June, she jumped at the chance to fill up her dance card. Her thumbs were a bit rusty, but she began swiping away.
It didn’t take long for her to match with a few guys, one of whom was a tall, broad, dark haired fella with a nice beard. We’ll call him Tony. She had been on a swiping rampage when she swiped right on him, and hadn’t noticed at the time that his profile said ENM (ethically non-monogamous). Normally she wouldn’t have engaged in conversation if she had realized that. Nothing wrong with it, just not for her. She was tired of being a third, or a secret (been there, done that). But in this case, she wasn’t looking to marry this guy, she just wanted a night of fun while her parents were away.
They got to chatting and they hit it off right away. Tony was charming and funny, and like, the nicest guy she had ever chatted with. Not in a push-over way, but just genuinely kind and considerate. She would always apologize when it took her a while to reply as she was used to getting shit on by some guys when she would take too long to respond. This guy flat out said, “we’re all busy, I get it. I’m in to you. I’m not going anywhere”. Swoon, much?!
After a day or two of chatting, Tony added her to Instagram. Almost immediately after accepting his request she got a message from him asking how she knew a mutual friend they had. She explained that it was an old co-worker of hers and that they were still good friends. Then she asked how he knew this person and he replied, “she’s my fiancée’s best friend…”
What the actual fuck!?
Of all the people to match with, of course he knew someone she knew! Again, big city, small town. But really, what are the chances!? Apparently pretty high.
He immediately went in to panic mode expressing how important it was that her old co-worker never find out about this ENM arrangement between him and his fiancée. This person just wouldn’t understand, he said. Not to worry. She was not in the business of ruining people’s relationships. As long as both people consented to being in an open relationship, what business was it of hers to interfere? She assured Tony that she wouldn’t tell her friend, and that even though she still considered this person a good friend, they didn’t speak that much anymore after no longer working together, nor does she read the blog. His secret was safe with her.
They continued chatting. He continued to boost her ego and flatter her relentlessly. She knew she wanted to hook up with him and she was excited to be able to have someone over to her place for once. Unfortunately, that coming weekend, he was busy on the Friday, and she had tentative plans with a friend on the Saturday. Her friend had seemed to be wavering, so she told Tony she would keep him posted. Of course, though, her friend came through so Saturday night was also a no-go.
She suggested he come over on the Sunday afternoon instead. No way was she letting this opportunity pass her by. He agreed and they made a plan to meet at a nearby restaurant first, and to go from there. Friday came and went, but as she was getting ready to go meet her friend on Saturday, she got a message from Tony that started with, “Okay.. real talk…”
He began to explain that he showed his fiancée her picture, and that SHE FRIGGIN RECOGNIZED HER!? How the fu –
Well, it turns out, she had met his fiancée at a party a couple years earlier. Only briefly, but long enough that his fiancée knew who she was… AND knew that she had a blog. So now, Tony’s probably thinking she is some crazy, sex crazed liar who writes about her raunchy sexcapades – which, let’s face it, is not far off – but come on! What a horrible first impression to have of someone!
She explained that she had intended to tell him about the blog the next day when they met, and assured him that she never used real names. This seemed to appease him, and he decided to continue trusting her, and to meet the next day. Why she continued to go along with this encounter, she wasn’t sure. Oh no, yes she was – she was horny AF.
They met at a local pub somewhat in between where they both lived. It was a little awkward at first, but once they got to talking, and to addressing the elephant in the room (this blog), conversation flowed like water. She let him read her favourite chapter (Chapter 49 if you’re interested 😉), and he complimented her on her writing. He also approved of how open she was about her sexual experiences.
They had ordered nachos to share, and as she was about to dig in he said, “wait wait! Gotta show these to the wife” as he snapped a pic to send to his fiancée. You’re on a date with another girl, dude!? Is that not weird for you?? For her??
They ate their meal and continued chatting. When the server came by to ask about another round of beers, she made the executive decision to decline and ask for the bill. She was done stuffing her face and was ready for something else to get stuffed haha (okay yes, that was crude. Sorry. Couldn’t help it lmao)
As they headed out to the parking lot, she suggested she drive them and he leave his car there, and she would drive him back afterwards. She didn’t want his car sitting in her driveway in broad daylight for all the neighbours to see. She lived in a small, close-knit suburban neighbourhood. People talk. Possibly to her parents. No thank you.
As she turned the corner on to her street, she prayed to the Universe that no one would be outside, but it was like 3pm on a sunny Sunday afternoon, the whole damn world was outside! She pulled in to her driveway, and as she got out and came around the car, she saw her neighbour do a double take at this giant man climbing out of her vehicle. Aw fuck! She thought to herself. But oh well, no turning back now!
They went in to the house and she made sure Tony greeted the dog and chilled him out a bit before they went upstairs. They closed the door quickly so the dog couldn’t join them, and then it was sexy time…
Tony pushed her backwards onto her bed and tore her pants off. He climbed on top of her and started kissing her while his hands explored her body. She tried to touch him, but he wanted it to be all about her…
– side note: in her short dating experience, she had rarely been with a guy who was more concerned with his own pleasure than hers. She had been used to having to service her ex first and foremost, before ever getting any herself. All these guys were just a different breed but like, in the best possible way –
The foreplay went on for a while until she was good and warmed up, then they started to have sex. He was definitely a bigger guy. Not fat or anything, but husky. A big, tall, broad, husky guy. Definitely attractive, but being bigger comes with some down falls. One of which, is sweat. As smooth and sexy as this guy was, and regardless of his sexual talents, it’s really hard to keep your head in the game when a stranger is thrusting on top of you, literally sweating globs of salty liquid into your eyes and mouth.
Some might have ended things then and there, but he was such a nice guy! And great at what he did, despite the sweat. She felt bad for him really. He kept apologizing and seemed to be embarrassed. She paused for a moment and grabbed a towel from behind her door. She thought about opening the window, but there was no way she was going to broadcast this tryst to her whole neighbourhood more than she already had. She was definitely not quiet, and her bed was super loud! She was pretty sure all her neighbours had already heard most of it anyways.
Instead of stopping, he suggested they move the fun in to the shower. She had just showered that morning, and immediately thought about how she didn’t want to get her hair wet.. But she also didn’t want to stop, so she bit the bullet and they continued their fun in the shower, where things really got heated.
It was rare for her to experience pleasure while standing up, but Tony knew what he was doing. He also knew how much she loved being choked (likely from reading that blog chapter). So it was just sexual pleasure on a whole other level. Shower sex is actually pretty not bad when you’re with the right person – who knew?
When they finally finished, he waited patiently as she re-blow dried and straightened her hair. He had been sitting on the bed behind her, watching her get ready. As she finished, he put both hands on her hips and pulled her back to sit on his lap, ready to go again. Are you friggin kidding me? I’m not showering again! she thought to herself. They made out a bit, but then headed out again so she could drive him back to his car.
When they got there, she realized she had to buy weed, so he accompanied her in to the pot shop near where he was parked. He helped her pick out her weed, and was super friendly and social with the staff. It really was too bad he was engaged. He definitely seemed like boyfriend material… Hard to get around that sweat issue, though.
They finished buying the weed and she walked him to his car. He hugged her the way only a big, tall, strong guy can, and he kissed her goodbye. Even though she now had this secret between her and her friend, she had really enjoyed herself, and was happy to have seized the opportunity of having an empty house.