Thursday arrived in the blink of an eye. She felt that nervous, excited anticipation as she waited for Mo to pick her up at home. He texted her when he arrived, and she hurried out to meet him.
They kissed/pecked hello and she felt a burst of butterflies fill her stomach. They were both seemingly shy and bashful, both feeling that sexual chemistry continue on from their first date, but both trying to play it cool. Mo had already bought the tickets to the comedy show, but he wanted to take her out again first, before the show, so they could chat and enjoy each other’s company. He decided to take her to play pool. She loved that idea. Not that she was some expert pool player, but she loved playing pool on dates. It’s a fun activity that allows for conversation and some flirty competition.
They played 5 rounds. He won 3/2, but she kicked his ass good in one game so she felt it was a win for her overall. She enjoyed flirting with him, chatting, playing 20 questions trying to get to know each other better. After about an hour and a half, they had to call it so they could make it to the comedy show on time. Mo paid the bill and they headed out to his car.
They both got in, she looked up at him and he was already staring at her. In a split second he leaned in, grabbed her by the back of the head and started kissing her. Hot, passionate, can’t-get-enough-of-you type kissing. It caught her off guard, but in the best possible way. When they finally took a breath, Mo said, “I’ve wanted to do that since I picked you up. You are so incredibly sexy!” She literally (not literally) melted in to a puddle right there on the front seat.
After their little make out sesh, they headed over to the comedy club. They were shown to their seats which were, thankfully, at the back and not up front where they would be picked on. They ordered some food and some drinks and watched the show cuddled in to one another as if they had been together for a lifetime.
It was an awesome comedy lineup. The comedians were great and both she and Mo really enjoyed themselves. The show finished and they headed back to his car. Once they got in, she knew another make out sesh was coming, and she welcomed it with open lips. He was such a good kisser. He held her head and neck the way she liked, he kissed her strongly and passionately, the way she liked. His hands moved down her body, touching her where she wanted to be touched but not going too far. They stopped a few times to catch their breath. She noticed the windows were fogging up. She felt like Rose in Titanic.
They made out for a literal hour. At points she was aware that passers-by could likely see what was happening. She was mildly embarrassed, but also found it super hot. She loved that Mo wanted her so badly he just couldn’t keep his hands and mouth off of her. Finally, she had to stop it. If she hadn’t they would have ended up having sex right there in the front seat. As much as she wanted it, she has a firm No Car Sex rule. Especially while parked on a side street downtown.
Living with her parents made it hard to schedule sexy times. Fortunately, she had committed to house sitting for a friend that coming weekend, so (with her friend’s permission to have a guest) she invited Mo over on the Saturday. Just two days from then. That still felt like too long to wait.
Of course Saturday came in no time. She had had plans during the day, so she told Mo to come by around 5pm. When he arrived, he brought a bottle of wine, two cans of caffeine free diet pepsi, and a box of condoms. Pure romance. The house she was staying at could easily be classified as a small mansion, so she had intended to give Mo a tour when he arrived. The tour would have to wait, though, as the front door was barely closed before his arms were wrapped around her waist and they were making out again. She lead him upstairs and they got right down to it.
It started off well. She was feeling good. She loved when a guy went down on her without having to ask. He was doing his thing, and though it was good, it definitely wasn’t getting her there. She tried to give him helpful tips, but clearly has some work to do on being more assertive of her pleasure needs because when he still wasn’t getting it, she just kind of gave up and let him think he was getting it done.
When he thought she had finished, he looked up at her and smiled. She didn’t have the heart to tell him that she definitely wasn’t done, so instead re-adjusted and returned the favour to him. He was getting close, without a doubt, so she stopped so he could gain his composure, and then they started having sex. He put the condom on and she climbed on top. It felt good, but unfortunately he didn’t last very long. The look on his face made it clear that at least it was good for one of them.
She was wholeheartedly disappointed. After all that intense build up, all the sexual chemistry they shared, she was so bummed that that’s how the sex had turned out. Except she then realized that they had the whole night ahead of them! They got the quick-draw sex out of the way, and their next round would assuredly be way better. They cleaned themselves up, got dressed and headed downstairs.
Regardless of if she finished or not, they still had both worked up an appetite. They each got on their delivery apps and looked for a place to order from. Thinking ahead to round two, she didn’t want to be weighed down by something heavy like pasta or something with a lot of cream/dairy, and she didn’t want anything with garlic or onions. They settled on some bougie burger place nearby. She ordered a chicken burger with curly fries, Mo ordered a double beef patty burger with all the fixin’s, some curly fries, and “a couple extra dips”.
While they waited for their food to arrive, Mo suggested they go smoke a joint. Between the two of them, she was definitely the stoner. He had told her that he hadn’t really smoked weed in several years. He found that he gets quiet, and has really bad munchies when he’s high. She is not his keeper. It is not her responsibility to remind him of these facts. So when he suggested they get stoned, she happily agreed. They didn’t smoke much because he had such a low tolerance, and once they were done they went downstairs to watch Netflix and wait for the food.
It arrived fairly quickly, and Mo ran back upstairs to go grab it. He came back down with the bag of food, and the caffeine free diet pepsi’s he had brought. Oh, and those “couple extra dips” he had ordered were actually 10 little plastic cups of dip. You know the like, homemade garlic sauce you get from really good pizza places? Those little dip containers. He ordered TEN extra dips, for just himself! Some ranch, some mayo, and some “special burger sauce” made in house at that bougie restaurant.
He opened one of each, dipped his fries in each one as he ate them, and just left the other seven dips in the bag. What the fuck, man?! She probably shouldn’t have been as hung up on the dips as she was, but it was just so wasteful! Not even just a waste of money if you’re not going to use them all, but why order all that extra plastic?? For what purpose??! She loved dips as much as the next person. She would definitely consider herself a sauce girl. But why order so many!!?? She couldn’t get passed it, and it nagged at her for the rest of the night.
Also, the burgers were huge. Hers was just a chicken burger and she found it to be gigantic. His double beef patty burger was even bigger. She cut hers in half to make it more manageable, while Mo went full cave man and just embraced the mess. She ate half her chicken burger, and maybe a quarter of her curly fries before she stopped to let it hit. The last thing she wanted was to be all gassy and bloated when (if) they had sex again.
Mo, on the other hand, did not have that same train of thought. He proceeded to eat his entire double patty burger, his entire thing of fries, only 3 of 10 dips, and drank his whole can of pepsi. She noticed Mo take account of her not finishing her fries. Though she was a bit taken aback at how much he was eating, with no consideration to how he would feel later, she offered the rest of her fries to him which he proceeded to inhale. She also had taken a sip of the pepsi he had brought for her, and basically gagged. Ugh, the aspartame! No thanks. Knowing she didn’t want it, Mo then also drank her whole can too and said, “As if you don’t like these? I drink a 6pack of these per night!”, he said. Pardon me?! Wasn’t he a part-time fitness instructor??
Mo laid back on the couch, clearly beached. The image of him laying there with his engorged belly, surrounded by all those dips, was enough to make her realize that this evening would likely not have the sexy ending she had been hoping for. She then chose to finish her chicken burger because, what the hell.
The vibe for the evening had shifted. They went from horny teenagers, to an old married couple. Mo didn’t touch her for the rest of the evening, despite her efforts. She moved her pillow closer to him to cuddle – nothin. She readjusted and put her legs up near his, hoping to have them intertwine – nothin. They went from lovers to roommates in the matter of one giant meal. It was a Saturday night. They had an entire mansion to themselves. And they went up to bed at 10:37pm.
When they got upstairs, she was already so turned off. She half expected that Mo wouldn’t even be bothered to try anything and just pass out and go to sleep. To her surprise and disappointment, as they got in to bed, Mo rolled his giant, full body on top of her and they started kissing. It was the worst kiss in her recent memory. Just like, sloppy, un-interested kissing. Lazy lips is a good way to put it. She recoiled and tore her lips away saying, “Are you tired?” Mo sighed with relief and said, “yes, good idea. Let’s just go to sleep”. He rolled off of her and within seconds he was passed out.
She lay there on her back, staring up at the ceiling, fighting every urge in her body not to smother his loud, snoring ass in his sleep. She looked at the time; 12:04am. She tossed and turned for a bit, Mo rustling in his sleep as she moved. He got up twice, still half asleep, and went downstairs. Presumably to use the bathroom after having eaten half a god damn cow earlier that evening. Both times he came back and passed right back out.
There was absolutely no way she could stay there all night. Once Mo was fully asleep again, she climbed out of bed, got herself dressed, and went downstairs to smoke a joint. She had intended to go back to bed when she was finished, but she knew she’d still never sleep. So, she spent the night in her friends giant mansion sleeping on the couch in the basement. At least she didn’t have to listen to him snoring.
She was awake around 6:30am, but waited a while longer before she went upstairs to check on Mo. Around 8am she went back to the guest room. Mo heard her coming and rolled over, lifting his arm to signal her to come cuddle. She did, reluctantly, and he kissed her sweetly on the forehead. For a split second she thought maybe this would be a final attempt for him to redeem himself. That he’d lift her chin up, kiss her deeply, and then give her the romp in the sack she had been hoping for since their steamy makeout session after the comedy show. But, alas, she was wrong.
Nothing. He did nothing else. Didn’t even say anything, just laid there with her head nuzzled on his shoulder. A simulation of what could have happened after what could have been an incredible and sexy evening. “Do you want a coffee?” she offered, unable to lay there for a single second more. “Yes, sure!” he agreed. They both got up, and she headed downstairs as he got himself dressed.
By 9:30am, they had had their coffee, they had chatted a bit more, and yet, Mo stayed. Why?? Could he not take the hint? Did he really think that this had been a successful evening? He rambled on about politics and the government and the economy and whatever else, for another hour before she finally got up the nerve to say, “Okay well, I’m gunna have to kick you out. I have to workout, go get some groceries… Thanks for coming over”
Blunt and direct, she really had to work on that. It was so effective! Mo finally got the hint and headed upstairs to collect the remainder of his things. They kissed goodbye at the door and said, “Until next time…” She couldn’t bare to tell him that there would likely not be a next time. Finally, though, he was gone. An awkward exit after an awkward evening.
A week or so went by and she hadn’t heard from Mo. During their morning coffee conversation, they had also touched on dating patterns, and what constituted ghosting. Mo felt that if you hadn’t met the person yet and the conversation died down, that wasn’t ghosting. Agreed. He also said that if you go on a date with someone, and neither party reaches out afterwards, that that’s not ghosting either. That’s just both people realizing that it wasn’t going to work out. Also agreed. He then said that if one person reaches out after a date, and the other person ignores it, then that’s definitely ghosting. Agree on all counts.
So when neither of them reached out, she felt relief in knowing that he finally clued in and realized she hadn’t had a good time. And by neither of them messaging the other, no one had to ghost anyone and they could just move on. Except, this was not the ending she had hoped for. In the span of literally one week, Saturday to Saturday, she and Mo had gone through what felt like a full year of a relationship. From passion and excitement, to disinterest and complacency. For the first time in three years of dating, she had actually seen a sliver of hope for something more with a guy, and in one evening, realized again how happy she was to be single.