The Friday night before their date, she texted him asking what the plan was – what time they were going to meet up and where? After hours of no reply, she ended up falling asleep. She woke up to a vague text message explaining that he had had friends over and that he would message her Saturday. That was the first red flag she ignored – he had friends over the night before their date. Inside. Without masks or social distancing. And this was in April, peak fear season for Covid. Still, that didn’t deter her.
As the morning hours ticked away, she grew increasingly less patient. She texted him again asking what the plan was, and again, waited hours for a reply. She had had to lie to her parents about why she wanted to borrow their car. She had said she would be going to her friend’s place for a socially distanced backyard hang. As the afternoon began to pass by, she couldn’t keep lying to her mom about why she hadn’t left yet. At that point he had finally replied and agreed to have her over to just hang out in his driveway instead. She replied asking for his address. Then she got dressed and went out as if she were going to her friend’s place, in the hopes that he would reply quickly and she could just head over to his place as she was driving.
As she passed a park-and-ride bus station on her way across the city, she had still yet to hear from him. Considering she didn’t know where she was going, she pulled into the parking lot and decided to wait it out. She played her music and rolled her windows down, trying to enjoy the warm spring air. As time went by, she grew angrier and angrier. As if she put herself in this situation again. How could she be so stupid? Why the hell was she wasting this beautiful day waiting for a guy? A guy that she didn’t even know, who she owed absolutely nothing to, and who clearly wasn’t worth her time if he would make her wait around all day like this.
She had had enough. She started the car and decided she was going to make the best of her situation. She texted him and used the same lie she had told her mom, telling him that clearly he was too busy today and she would be going over to her friend’s place instead. She was already out of the house, she had the car and a full tank of gas, why not take a little road trip? She decided she would drive out towards that little town she had moved to with her ex all those years ago. At the very least, she could sit by the water down at the marina and reminisce about the good times she had there. It was something to do so she wouldn’t waste any more of that gorgeous afternoon.
And then, just as she was reaching the city limits, he texted her. He apologized for keeping her waiting and explained that his friend had stopped by unexpectedly to show him his new car. He said that he felt like an idiot because he was just about to send her his address. She pulled into a nearby drugstore parking lot and Google Mapped how far away she was from him. She was literally 7 minutes from his house. And, of course, now her curiosity and desire for attention had gotten the best of her. She agreed to still meet up with him. The catch now was that he knew she lived about 30 minutes away from him. She couldn’t just show up 10 minutes later. So now she had to wait again until it would be the appropriate time for her to arrive. Seriously. This is the kind of dumb shit that seems to only ever happen to her. “This guy better be worth it!” she thought to herself. (Spoiler Alert: He wasn’t.)
She texted him when she arrived and waited for him outside next to his truck. He came out and she immediately felt butterflies in her stomach. As he walked up to her, she evaluated him head to toe. He was super cute and walked like a hockey player – butt out, legs wide. And damn, his hands were so sexy. She wasn’t sure where that thought came from. It’s not like she had a fetish for hands or anything? But damn, nice hands bro!
And then, he smiled. His cute face was ruined by the yellow, chicklet teeth that filled his mouth, made worse by an extremely noticeable broken tooth. Even so, we’ll call him Sexy Hands Guy, instead of Bad Teeth Guy.
Despite the bad teeth, this was her first real date with someone other than her ex. She was going to enjoy it as best she could. They began with the small talk again, and not once were there any awkward silences. She realized, however, that she disagreed with almost everything he had to say. Especially when he called himself a “virus sympathizer”, meaning he wasn’t concerned and thought her taking precautions was stupid and unnecessary. She had a beer with him, met his room mates (all from a safe distance), and was so happy she had set firm boundaries before she had gotten there. She also thought to herself how relieved she was that she wasn’t trying to really date this guy and that all these weird, trashy people would never become a permanent part of her life. Phew!
And yet, despite her disappointment with his teeth, there was just something about this guy that made her want to ignore her instincts and jump him right there on his front stoop. Maybe it was the hands? Whatever it was, and despite his efforts to convince her otherwise, she left after two hours feeling strong and proud of herself for resisting her urges. She realized that part of meeting up with him was to prove to herself that she could make good decisions. The last time she was single, her moral compass hadn’t always pointed due north. The draw of a guy paying her any kind of attention was often too much for her to resist, hence all the bad choices she used to make. But this time, regardless of how much she wanted to concede to his persuasive antics, she stayed strong and stood her ground. She drove home hornier than ever.
Later that night, he texted her and they both described how difficult it had been for them to have met up and not had sex. While she remained proud, she could tell he was annoyed that she hadn’t succumbed to his charms. He argued that if she was willing to meet up, and willing to pee in his bathroom (which she regretted doing, but she really had to go!), then she shouldn’t have any qualms about hooking up with him. She explained that meeting up, and even peeing in his bathroom, are very different than swapping bodily fluids with a stranger.
It would be two days before they chatted again, and the conversation was less than exhilarating, to say the least. The younger, more naïve and innocent version of herself would have been devastated by this lost connection. Her head would have been spinning with insecure thoughts about him not liking her, her not being enough, etc. But this time, she honestly couldn’t have cared less. Regardless of his feelings for her, the societal climate they were in (i.e.: the fucking PANDEMIC) wouldn’t allow for hook ups anyways. So, she felt no guilt or instinct to try to impress him further. Also, she realized that guys are a dime a dozen. Especially if all she was looking to do was hook up. Finding a guy to settle down with, that would be a different story. But this just confirmed to her that she was in no way ready deal with all the bullshit that comes with relationships and that she had no interest in inviting another man into her life.
And so, her quest to find another guy to flirt with had commenced.